For those who are not familiar with the site, Straight Talk is where I answer questions that have been submitted on the site or brought up in another setting. This question was posed by someone in Oakland, CA.
How can a mother pick up her soul after being hurt from someone she loved for many years?
Although this was asked from a female perspective, anyone can relate to the feelings of hurt, abandonment, loneliness, low self esteem, and a host of other things. It is hard to give yourself to someone and create that bond of trust, when you don't know what tomorrow will hold. You don't know how long they will love you or how long you will love them. You don't know how often or how long they will make you smile, laugh, cry, or cuss. You literally go into the relationship blind, if you are honest with yourself, because you are basing everything on hope and not on solid and concrete things. We go into relationships ignoring the obvious and making excuses for things that we see but hope will go away. That is not God, that is Disney.
1. One should never give their heart and soul to another unless it is spoken by God. Other wise we lend our most precious and vulnerable parts of ourselves to the enemy for him to play and bring close to destruction. God tells us clearly that we should not cast our pearls before swine. The enemy will allow us to love hard and love long so that by the time our promise gets to us we don't want anything to do love. We get to the point of bitterness that we don't believe in love and we become so empty inside that we are like the walking dead going through the motions.
2. We don't know love until we know the love of God. Most people find a person and then they find God. That is really backwards. We must first experience the love of God in order to be able to compare what other's call love to it. The Word of God says that love is patient and it is kind. But love is not perfect-except for God's love-- and there will be some pain experienced in being in relationships because life is full of ups and downs and the enemy is constantly seeing how he can mess with our faith and ultimately our relationship with God. However, there is a difference between going through a battle with your mate and your mate being the battle. One thing that I always told God is that I don't mind going through and don't mind fighting, but I don't want to be fighting with my mate. I want us to go through the battle's together and not be each other's battle. When you experience God's love, everything else pales in comparison because you always have a smile on the inside of you and a light that is shining that can not be dimmed by situations or people. That same kind of light and smile can be shared between a man and a woman, but only when it has been ordained by God. Otherwise, it is temporary and temporary can not withstand storms and it most certainly can not withstand time (including eternity)
3. Healing is a process and it begins with confession, verbal and out loud for you and God to hear, of how you truly feel and how you are hurting. Once you admit where you are God can take you where you want to go. God will then take you through the process and He will take you one step at a time. Understand that along the way you will be tested. There will be a scent or a word or a place that will remind you of something in your past and you will find out exactly how far you have come and how far you need to go. Each person's healing process is different, so it is impossible for me to provide you with exact details. Just know that complete healing is possible and it doesn't take forever. God will not only heal you, but he will prepare you for your divine destiny. But He can only do it as fast as your faith is strong.
Remember that nothing is over until God says it is over. Hold on to your faith and hold on to God with everything you have in you. Your relationship with Him will grow to places that you never thought it would be and you will look back over it and laugh. You will laugh at the enemy because he didn't take you out when he had the chance and now you are going to live your life to the fullest and live it according to God's will and His plan for your life.
Blessings and Peace,
Pastor Nichica Smith
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